


Why I Am What I Am.

by KVDO



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Abusive Dursley Family (Harry Potter), F/M, Hogwarts Sixth Year, Lucius Malfoy in Azkaban, M/M, Redeemed Draco Malfoy, Sharing a Room, Switching, alcoholic narcissa, the weasleys basically run an orphanage now
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-20
Updated: 2021-01-07
Packaged: 2021-03-08 19:06:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,894
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27121550
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KVDO/pseuds/KVDO
Summary: "I am perfectly capable of living on my own headmaster." This was a lie, the tremble in his legs gave away that he hadn't eaten in three days and he was dangerously exhausted. "I understand that Draco, but unfortunately wizarding law in London does not share that sentiment. While you are underage it is required you be guarded by adult wizards or witches." Dumbledore knew Draco was not actually able to care for himself, and since Narcissa had disappeared, Draco had no family left for him. Draco slumped back in the velvet green armchair and rested his head in his hands. "What would you have me do sir? Mother is gone, Father is in bloody azkaban, and all my family members are absolutely insane." Dumbledore shifted his oddly coloured shoes, he knew this was about to be the emotional breakdown of the century. "This isn't going to be easy for you my boy, but I have a family who is willing to care for you as long as needed." Draco looked up from his hands, surprised any sane wizarding family would want him in their house. Dumbledore cleared his throat a bit and pushed forward, "It's the weasley family, they've agreed to care for you." Well that would explain the 'sane' part then, Draco thought to himself.
Relationships: Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter, Hermione Granger/Ron Weasley
Comments: 12
Kudos: 58





	1. Bite the Hand that Feeds You

**Author's Note:**

> okay so i had a dream last night that was literally this entire fanfiction and i have to write it down or ill go crazy sorry that it mega succs. also hi diana:)

It was cold and dreary outside of Malfoy Manor, as per bloody usual. The inside wasn't that different, Draco didn't know how to light the fireplace as it required a special incantation his mother created. Narcissa had also taken the family house elf wherever the hell she had run off to so he couldn't even call upon the small creature for help. He hadn't bothered to learn the name of this new one after Dobby had been freed, what was the point of it when he was almost 17 anyways. Draco knew he needed to figure things out fast, so far he had been sleeping and looking for some kind of food in the house. Again, Narcissa and Lucius knew all the charms required to make this beautiful house work, they were meant to teach him on his 17th birthday. Draco realized at that moment that he might not even see them on his birthday. 

As he was drifting off to sleep, curled up like a child on the old velvet chair, a loud knock rang through the echoing halls of the manor. Draco startled awake and quickly unfolded his stiff legs to walk to the front door. It was too bloody far, just like everything in this damned house, Draco thought to himself as he stumbled over the folds in the rug. He paused at the door handle, fingertips barely touching the cold silver knob, he didn't have to answer, he could hide away in this house until he died of starvation or froze to death. Another booming knock shook him away from those thoughts, and he opened the massive dark wood door to reveal Albus Dumbledore, his school headmaster. He had a warm smile on his face, and the rush of seeing someone familiar almost knocked Draco over. "Ah, Draco my boy, how are you?" Draco did his best to remember all the things his father had told him about Dumbledore, a phony, a liar, too old, demented fool, blood traitor, but right now he couldn't find the energy to think those things, he was starving and exhausted. "I'm well sir, won't you come in?" Draco stepped aside and allowed the one person he was told to avoid at all costs to enter his home. Draco led the headmaster through the halls into the large sitting room and moved some items off the couch to allow dumbledore to rest. "I would offer you tea sir but i believe this house is right set on keeping all food and drink away from me" Draco went back to the velvet armchair that was now across from dumbledore and did his best to sit gracefully. "Draco, when is the last time you saw or heard from your mother?" That was the million dollar question, everyone wanted to know where Narcissa was. Draco huffed what sounded like a laugh but left the air empty, "sir, i haven't heard anything from my mother in almost four days now, and no, i don't know where she went." 

Dumbledore's smile had been slowly losing its luster since he had entered the house, it was freezing cold, there was no food or drink for this young boy, and his mother was nowhere to be found. "Draco i do believe you need some help until she can be located, the ministry is doing everything they can to find her, but she is using very strong cloaking magic." Dumbledore understood that the young man in front of him valued pride and honor over most things, and that this news wouldn't be a happy event. "I am perfectly capable of living on my own headmaster." This was a lie, the tremble in his legs gave away that he hadn't eaten in three days and he was dangerously exhausted. "I understand that Draco, but unfortunately wizarding law in London does not share that sentiment. While you are underage it is required you be guarded by adult wizards or witches." Dumbledore knew Draco was not actually able to care for himself, and since Narcissa had disappeared, Draco had no family left for him. Draco slumped back in the velvet green armchair and rested his head in his hands. "What would you have me do sir? Mother is gone, Father is in bloody azkaban, and all my family members are absolutely insane." Dumbledore shifted his oddly coloured shoes, he knew this was about to be the emotional breakdown of the century. "This isn't going to be easy for you my boy, but I have a family who is willing to care for you as long as needed." Draco looked up from his hands, surprised any sane wizarding family would want him in their house. Dumbledore cleared his throat a bit and pushed forward, "It's the weasley family, they've agreed to care for you." Well that would explain the 'sane' part then, Draco thought to himself. He felt the heat rise in his neck and cheeks, how could Dumbledore think to place a boy like Draco Malfoy with, of all people, the weasleys? 

"Absolutely not sir, there's no way." He was standing now, his whole body trembling with hunger and frustration, "Really i believe there has to be a mistake, could i not stay with anyone else? Maybe professor snape?" Dumbledore stood as well, he placed a thouroghly burnt hand on Draco's shoulder to try and calm the boy who clearly didn't have the energy to be angry right now. "Draco, this family has offered to take you in despite the disparity between your bloodlines, they are willing to take a step toward progress, you must do the same for the sake of your own safety." Draco knew realistically he coudln't keep living like this, unable to feed himself, alone and dying. he knew he needed help, and he could be persuaded to accept that help, from anyone except the weasleys. he imagined the only thing worse would be living with harry potter, though he didn't know much about Harry's family, he just assumed they were worse. "Sir please, anyone else, or maybe you could help me figure out the incantations for this house?" He was desperate now, what would his parents say when (if) they returned? He would certainly be punished worse than ever before. " i'm terribly sorry Draco, but the ministry along with myself has agreed this is the safest option." There was something in Dumbledore's tone that told Draco there was something he was trying to tell him, but couldn't say outright. Draco slowly realized he was the last accounted for member of the family of Malfoy, his father was in Azkaban, his mother on the run, Draco was the last one they needed to watch for things like communication, news, and possible danger. The ministry thought he was going to run off to Voldemort, possibly following his mother, and become a death eater. Draco knew that if his father was free he wouldn't have had the option to say no to that possibility, but now it was up to him to decide his morals and who he was. 

"I understand headmaster, I believe I am to be 'watched over' until the return of my mother." Draco was now all business, no more tears and no more outbursts, this was most likely legally required of him and the easier he made this the less trouble he would be in. Dumbledore visibly relaxed, this was too much to put on a young boy but Draco was being incredibly responsible considering his current state. "Thank you my boy, and just so you know, i have complete faith that you are capable of watching over yourself." Dumbledore winked and patted the boy's shoulder, dumbledore knew that Draco needed space to make his own choices and decide who he was, but the ministry didn't have an inch to spare in these dark times. "I will give you a moment to collect your things, and then I will assist you in apperating to The Burrow, please don't hesitate to ask if you need help with anything." Draco's stomach curled in on itself, the stress of this moment was only heightened by his severe malnutrition and he just about hurled all over those horridly bright shoes the old man was wearing. "Actually sir, do you have any sort of food with you?" Draco felt his pride slip just by asking, but there was no way he could apperate on an empty stomach. Dumbledore however made no offensive comments and merely slipped a small baggie of sweets out of his long robes. Draco nearly collapsed at the smell of pumpkin pasties, he quickly scarfed down the small amount of food (if it could be called that) and thanked the headmaster. He slipped off to his room to pack all of his things and collect his massive owl, he paused to take in the room he had been in his whole life while petting the gorgeous bird, who would occasionally nip his hands. He picked up a photo of his father and mother, when they looked happy and in love. His trembling fingers dropped the precious photo, a reminder that his life could not and would not be the same. Draco was no longer a child, he picked the photo out of the shattered glass and shoved the old photo into his pocket. He was involved, whether he wanted to be or not, and he needed to think long and hard about what was needed of him, and how he should proceed. Draco couldn't help but wonder again what Harry Potter's family was like, he had never heard anything about who the boy lived with. He said nothing as he walked back downstairs to the greying man and held tightly with one hand to his arm, and the other hand held on to his suitcases, his owl knew where to go and he didn't want to stress it out with apperation. He took a deep breath and tumbled into the oblivion of his own tumultuous mind and the chaos of the trip. 

>\-----

"You! Of course it was you! Good heavens I can't believe we even let you stay here you insolent blasphemous child, go to the closet immediately and don't make a single sound!" Harry was standing in the middle of what looked like a war zone, pillows were ripped with stuffing floating through the air, and Dudley was laying on the ground, stunned and making pathetical little whimpering noises. He had tried to touch Hedwig, he was too rough and Hedwig had nipped at his fingers, so he pulled one of her feathers out. When Harry heard her shriek from his room he had dashed up the stairs, barely touching the steps. When he saw Dudley standing next to his poor owl he felt his blood boil and his anger shot out everywhere like tiny bullets, ripping up the pillows and curtains and everything within reach, including Dudleys left shoulder and foot. He wasn't even bleeding, just knocked over and scared. Harry was sure he would be fine, but he had made this horribly dramatic noise as he fell and practically shook the whole bloody house. Petunia had raced up the stairs nearly as fast as Harry and was immediately sobbing over her precious little boy, screaming her damn head off at Harry, who felt just as stunned as Dudley. Vernon took quite a bit longer to get up those dastardly stairs, (he swore one day he would pay someone to fix them as they were far too steep) but when he did he made such a scene you'd think Harry had just murdered his whole family in cold blood. 

Harry squeezed past all the chaos as fast as he could, grabbing only Hedwig and any sort of paper and writing utensil he could. He raced down to his old broom closet and put anything he could in front of the door, he squished himself as far back as he could. He had grown quite a lot since he had moved into Dudley's second bedroom and now he barely fit in this tiny closet, especially with hedwig crammed in next to him. "Don't worry girl, i'll send you off to Ron tonight and we'll make our great escape." All he had to do was sit there for nearly four hours, then creep through the house and let her out the back door. As he sat he couldn't help but wonder how all of his friends were doing, he thought about Ron and Hermione and smiled to himself as he remembered their last letters to him. They had both written to him at the same time, telling him how much they missed each other (and him of course) and that they wondered when one would pluck up some courage and ask the other out on a date. He had of course written them both back telling them how ridiculous it all was and to just do it themselves. He startled when a loud thump against his door shook dirt down on his head, it seemed Vernon had shoved a chair under the outside handle, that complicated Harry's escape just a bit but he could handle it. "If you think you'll be eating within the next few days you are sorely mistaken my boy! Don't even think of letting that bloody bird loose either, i'll throw it to the neighbors dogs if i see it flying back to this house." 

Harry curled into himself, holding Hedwig just a bit closer and inching away from the door. He tried not to panic and focused instead on writing his letter to Ron, specifying now to not let Hedwig return to the Dursleys.  
The letter read as follows:  
"DO NOT RETURN HEDWIG, KEEP HER WITH YOU! Oy Ron mate you remember when you picked me up from the dursleys in that flying car from second year? i need a bit of that right now as i've made a mess of things and am now locked back in that little closet. Don't worry though mate i'll be good for a couple days just come and get me if you can in a bit, send a letter through the post slot it'll slip under my door and i'll handle things from there mate. see you soon.  
Harry."

He figured Ron would take good care of Hedwig until he came to get Harry, or if he came to get him that was. He tried to tell himself not to think like that, Ron was his best mate no way he would leave him stuck here all summer with the bloody Dursleys. Since he had quite a bit of time before the lights would be turned out and everyone went to bed, Harry let his eyes drift closed. Hedwig was warm enough he didn't even need a blanket, and she seemed quite content to have a quick rest on Harry's lap after that ordeal. He drifted off with his hand resting on her back while she made soft cooing noises.

Harry awoke with a jolt, he'd had a terrible nightmare about wormtail talking (or grovelling) to Voldemort, it didn't seem like anything important was going on, though he thought he heard mention of Narcissa Malfoy which was odd. As he sat up and wiped the sweat off his forehead, he saw that the lights under the door were gone, meaning it was past ten O'clock PM, and it was likely everyone was asleep. After all the years of having to escape locked doors without magic, Harry had learned how to pick locks manually. All he needed was two sharp flat objects and he could escape anything. He found a few broken quill tips and some small nails on the floor, and set to work deciding what he could use to get out. He grabbed a couple of the nails and shoved them into the keyhole of his small door. After about a solid five minutes of haphazardly fiddling with the rusty lock, he finally heard the click he was waiting for. He wasn't done yet however, the chair under the door was still an issue. He pushed the door as much as he could, cringing at every little squeak against the floor, until he could shove his fingers in between the door and the wall. He pushed the edge of the chair until he felt it fall against the floor, he whipped the door open and stopped the chair just before it could crash down and expose him. He looked around and saw the light under Vernon and Petunias door turn out, a sign they were just about to fall asleep. He waited about another five minutes before standing up and stretching his stiff knees and popping his back, he reached back in the closet and softly woke Hedwig, who seemed to understand now was not the time for a loving screech. 

He nudged her to step onto his fingers and placed the tightly folded letter in her beak, giving her the shush sign and whispering "weasley house" in her little ear. He crept to the side door and again set to work with his makeshift lock pick kit, being extra careful to make no noises. When the door finally unlocked, he did his best to pull it open with no noise, but it made a horrible crunching sound against the cheap linoleum. In a state of panic as he saw Vernon's light turn back on, he whipped the door open all the way and tossed Hedwig out into the night air. She took flight faster than ever before and was gone in an instant, just as Vernon's bedroom door smacked open against the hallway wall and he came out screaming about almost being asleep. He stopped dead in his tracks when he saw Harry bloody Potter standing there in front of the open door watching Hedwig fly off into the dark sky. His face lit up like a lighthouse and Harry could practically see the steam coming from the man's ears. He took one step forward and everything slowed down, Harry looked out the door and almost went to run out but Vernon had the back of Harry's collar in his tight fist before he could even move. He jerked him back and let the boy's frail body smack onto the floor while he reached for the door and slammed it shut, most likely waking the whole neighborhood in the process. He turned back to Harry as he was trying to stand up and struck him right across the jaw, Harry was frozen in place when he realized what had just happened, Vernon had never hit him before. Sure he withheld food and ignored him and locked him up, but he had never actively abused Harry in such an obvious way. It seemed Vernon had surprised himself as well, he had stopped where he was and his eyes had changed to something scared, probably terrified Harry was about to curse him to hell and back. But Harry did nothing except stare at the man who had raised him from the floor with a bruise beginning to ache. Vernon slowly melted back to his anger. "Get back in that closet boy, you won't be seeing the light of day for quite some time." Vernon relocked the door and stood watch while Harry slowly walked back into the closet and sat down, now without a warm and calming friend by his side. He sank down to the disgusting floor and heard the lock click on his door again. "please get here soon Ron." He whispered to himself in the dark, not allowing himself to cry.

>\-----

Draco was now sitting at a worn wooden table, so big it filled the frightfully small dining room, and it was covered with some sort of sticky substance that hadn't yet been cleaned off. He did his best to control his expressions, and he could appreciate that the house was very cozy, he almost fell asleep just sitting there from how warm it was. When he and dumbledore had apparated just outside the front door of the worlds most unsturdy house, Draco had felt a rush of emotions overcome him, shame from what he was having to do, guilt for taking from a family that had less than he did, disgust at being in the same house as Ronald Weasley, and at the end of all that, a spark of gratitude that anyone would care enough to take him in. But then stout little Molly Weasley had come out the door with her arms wide open ready to take the son of her enemy into her embrace. This surprised Draco so fully that his knees buckled and he nearly passed out, as his vision cleared and he began to stand back up, (with the help of Mrs. Weasley) he heard a shrill voice "Good Lord Albus has this boy ever eaten once in his whole life?" He didn't want to say that the answer was closer to a no than a yes. "I did give him my last packet of sweets Dear Molly but no he hasn't eaten in quite some time, though i'm sure you are all too happy to get him well fed." Dumbledore was all too right about this, which is how Draco found himself sitting at a dining table in the Weasley's house at almost midnight, waiting for Molly to bring him a massive plate of food.

He could hear low whispers from the kitchen but only caught the occasional phrase or word. There was quite a lot of mention of his parents' names, and a moment of near yelling from Molly when Dumbledore brought up the ministry. The soft clamor of pots and pans filled the space when silence fell, and soon the whole downstairs smelled extraordinarily delicious. She walked out from the kitchen with two full plates and a small bowl, one was set in front of Draco and the other handed to Dumbledore as he took a seat, Molly sat too with her little bowl. In front of Draco was the largest, most colorful plate of home made food he had ever had the pleasure of seeing, it was beans on toast with fried sausage, mashed sweet potatoes, vegetable cakes, sliced turkey smothered in gravy, and a messy slice of cherry pie. He had no idea how Molly had made all of this food seemingly out of thin air, and in what seemed like less than ten minutes. Dumbledore was sat next to him with a similar plate filled with food, and Molly was sitting across them with a little bowl of chocolate pudding, it looked perfect, like what a family should eat. 

Molly cleared her throat a bit, she was shuffling her hands and looking away, "Now Draco, i just wanted to let you know that Arthur and I were of course hesitant to take you in, only because of pressure from the ministry to, as they put it, 'correct your upbringing'. We understand that you must be horribly confused right now and the last thing we want to do is put any further strain on that, but I must stress that this is a tolerant household and we will not accept any name calling or things of the sort." She looked very stern for the first time, and Draco realized just how much she loved her children and the lengths she would go to protect them. He wished he could say the same about his mother. "I understand Mrs. Weasley, and please trust me when i say i don't share all the same values as my family, i am terribly sorry for any grief i have caused in the past." He felt the shame of his father's actions spread hotly through his neck, he really didn't believe anyone deserved to feel less than, but he couldn't help wanting his fathers approval, and doing anything to just get a fraction of the love he deserved. "I would like to thank you right now for helping me, and i promise i won't take up much energy or space, i'm capable of taking care of myself for the most part." Molly shook her head and tsked at Draco, but she knew he needed to eat and didn't push the subject of how capable he was. "Don't you worry lovey, eat up now and i'll make up a bed for you when you're done." Draco happily obliged and began to stuff himself with the hearty meal, it made him ten times warmer and his eyes started feeling heavier and heavier.

While Molly and Dumbledore were discussing the details of keeping Draco, there was a tap on the window from a snowy white owl. "Good heavens what on earth is Harry's owl doing here at this hour?" Molly crossed the room and opened the window for Hedwig to enter, the bird flew over next to Draco and dropped the letter along the way, Molly picked it up and looked at it with a furrowed brow. "Albus, this letter is addressed to Ronald but it seems quite urgent given how late it is, do you think i should read it?" She seemed rather concerned which confused Draco, what would Harry need so urgently, wasn't he with his family? Dumbledore stood up and went over to Hedwig, who wasn't leaving but rather laying down grooming her feathers. "It does seem odd that Hedwig is not returning, i'm sure dear Ron will forgive you for peeking." Molly took that as the go ahead, and unfolded the letter. She was reading with haste, and lifted her hand to her mouth slowly. "Albus, shut the window if you please..." Dumbledore walked over and quickly closed the window, then strode over to Molly and read over her shoulder. "Oh my, yes well you ought to go and wake Ronald then, i believe a rescue mission is in order." Draco's heart stopped and he shot out of his sleepy daze immediately, "What? is Potter alright?" He was horribly confused, did Voldemort find him? Was he being tortured? Had someone killed his family? Molly ran off upstairs to get Ron and Dumbledore placed his hand on Draco's shoulder, "My boy, I don't know if you know anything of Harry's current living situation, but an issue has arisen regarding his safety. I believe the Weasleys are gaining two new house guests tonight." Draco was even more confused now. "Sir is it... is it Voldemort?" Dumbledore let out a relieved laugh and squeezed Draco's trembling shoulder, "No dear boy nothing of that nature, don't worry he will be alright once retrieved." He winked down at Draco as the boy began to blush, he didn't know why he had gotten worried about Harry Potter of all people.

Ron came thundering down the stairs half awake and with the world's worst bed head, Draco would have laughed him out of the room if he wasn't so freaked out. Ron stopped dead in his tracks when he noticed Draco Malfoy sitting in his dining room with Albus Dumbledore, eating his mother's home made food. "What... what the bloody hell is going on...?" He was still too asleep to attack Draco directly, but the confusion was clear. Molly wrapped a coat around Ron and shoved a set of keys in his hand, "I'll explain later Ron, Fred and George aren't home tonight, you have to focus on doing this alone so you need to be awake enough to drive to Harry's." Ron shoved his arms through the sleeves and just kept staring at Draco like he'd grown two heads and declared he was in love with Severus Snape. Molly snapped her fingers in front of his face and he whipped his head around to look at her. "Ron are you sure you can drive?" He nodded unconvincingly and Molly sighed. "Mrs. Weasley, if Ron needs help i would be happy to go along." Draco surprised even himself when saying this, but he had this pull in his chest that was begging to know if Harry Potter was okay. "You bloody what?" Ron seemed a bit more awake now, but still not at full capacity. "Well, I'm more awake than you right now and this seems like a two person operation, if you would prefer i piss off that's fine." Draco fell back into his old aloof ways to avoid being made fun off but he couldn't take back what he had said. "No, actually Ronald i am going to require that you take Draco with you for this, he's far more alert than you right now and i assume you'll need all the help you can get if that man is involved." Ron didn't seem to really process what Molly was saying, but by the look on her face you knew she was not to be argued with. Harry was one of her kids, and she would protect him. 

Which is how Ron Weasley and Draco Malfoy ended up flying off in an untrustworthy car at nearly two am to rescue the boy who lived


	2. Chapter 2

hey guys, idk if anyone is paying like attention to this story but im gonna do a re write of it. im never happy with my writing so yeah idk that'll happen soon thanks so much to everyone who liked it


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